I'm a Thug! (in a way)

So I am talking about my self as a thug in reference to love. From my knowledge there is no correlation between thugs and love. Thugs are mainly people that do whatever is necessary to get to where they want to be financially and successfully not caring about anything or anyone else other than family. That's me. My grind/hustle is school. I go to school and make sure that I do everything possible to succeed in it so that I can secure the prosperous future that I wish for. Other than that and family, everything else is just entertainment. Now some may ask, what is wrong with that? More people should be like that and maybe so on so forth... Well yea it seems like a good motto unless you want more like me

I want to find love, however, I'm making it a little hard on myself. In order for me to fall in love, I need to give up my so called thug mentality to get what I want, but it's hard. I am guarded for no damn reason at all other than I don't want to get hurt and end up like all the hurt, bitter, shattered people around me. When you see so many people go through so much drama and trauma behind love, you tend to tread carefully when dating. That's all find and dandy til you get to where I am now trying to figure out if I should open up or stick to my thug ways.

So here I am, little miss too-scared-to-be-hurt-but-really-wants-to-find-love sitting here wondering how do I just let go and let Ms. Love work her magic. I really need to start believing in faith and all that mystical, magical stuff that supposedly helps God help us not to make bad decisions. Its all a part of that you never know until you try theory of thinking, but again I'm a thug and don't believe in failure and love is just too risky. So, hopefully I will develop that theory of thinking sooner rather than later because I'd rather be hurt temporarily by love than permanently by loneliness.