Control Me No More!

What is it about me that screams control me? Do I give off some I-want-to-be-controlled vibe? I guess I am sending off secret messages that read "Oh I don't know what I really want so I need you to tell me cause obviously you have a better clue than I do." And if so then I need to stop it. See I'm all for pleasing those around me including close friends and family, but then when pleasing them starts to interfere with pleasing myself and doing what I prefer to do, then what they want is no longer as important to me.

Lately I have been feeling like the people surrounding me are very controlling over what I do and don't do. I've noticed this before, but it never bothered me. Now it's starting to bother me because I am trying to find my own way, become more independent and less dependent on others. I have also realized that I have made myself too readily available for everyone. I have made myself into someone that can always be counted on to be there for anyone at anytime to be a psychologists, entertainer, and all-around "fulfiller" of others' needs. Now the question isn't how did I let this happen, but how do I get myself out of this.

I have basically branded myself as a "fulfiller" and have recently decided to change my product. If I do this, I may create some very disgruntled customers, then what do I do? I don't know what I am going to do to make them happy again, but I do know that I am going to continue doing what I want for the time being by fulfilling my own needs/wants first.

The whole reason for this sudden need to change "the brand" is because, like many people on there way to graduating soon, I have been thinking about what I am going to do after I graduate. I have been thinking of many possible options from remaining in Dallas to moving on the East or West coast to even living over seas. So, if I do pick an option other than moving back to Houston I am going to have plenty of people angry or expressing various other controlling emotions towards me. And that is why I am about to start changing some things now so that when I do decide to do whatever it is that I want to do with my life, it will be a lot easier for my loved ones to digest.