Without Me, There is No You ~ Short Story

Rachel paced back and forth as she waited for her sister to return. She was so excited and extremely nervous at the same time. The day she had dreamed of was finally here with the man she had always loved. She was so deep into her thoughts that she had not noticed her sister come into the room. Her sister called out to Rachel, "Are you ready?"

"Yea I believe I am." Rachel replied as she grabbed her veil and bouquet. She followed her sister out into the hall as she waited for the music that would cue her entrance. She stood in front of the double doors filled with anxiety and excitement when she heard the music begin. Smiling, Rachel slowly walked through the open doors. She walked which such pride and beauty that everyone in the chapel stared at her with admiration. Her gown draped her body perfectly while her jewelry only added to her beauty. Her hair flowed over her shoulders with her veil barely concealing her face.

Rachel walked toward her future husband never taking her eyes away from the man that she loved so dearly. She was in awe at the fact that she would be so lucky as to spend the rest of her life with such a wonderful man. Rachel was a step away from the altar when she suddenly heard a loud sound followed by a sharp pain in her back. Rachel stopped completely and glanced down at her torso noticing blood beginning to seep through her dress. She looked up at her fiancé only a moment before she blacked out and fell to the ground.

Travis moved to run to his future wife's side when he was stopped by a commanding voice coming from the man holding the gun. Travis looked into the face of the man that had just shot the woman of his dreams and started running toward the man with such rage in his eyes. Before Travis could get half way to the guy he shot him in his the chest barely missing his heart. The blow from the bullet hit Travis with such force it knocked him to the ground.

The gunman walked past Travis and headed towards the bride when her father stood in his path. The gunman stared her father in the eyes as he spoke softly and hatefully, "Mr. McKinney, move before I shoot you and your wife." Mr. McKinney reluctantly backed down and let the gunman near his daughter. The gunman kneeled down next to the bride and turned her over onto her back. Rachel opened her eyes to see her ex-boyfriend from two years ago staring at her. Rachel weakly tried to push the gunman away when he leaned in to kiss her.

"Rachel, please just kiss me one last time before you die. Please just give me that."

"Kiss? You just shot me Rick," Rachel responded in a weak voice. Rick shhh Rachel and told her that he did it out of love. "I couldn't bare to think of you living the rest of you life with another man. Rachel you must understand how much I love you. I love you enough to kill for you. Now if that means killing you, then I will do it."

Rachel was speechless as she listened to the words coming form Rick's mouth. She suddenly had a flashback to the day when she broke up with Rick and he threw her out of a second story window. Rachel began to cry as she realized that she would die and Rick would be the last face she ever saw. The tears began to flow from her eyes even more when she noticed that she could not see Travis near. Rachel called out to her father for questions. "Daddy, where is Travis? Where is Travis daddy?" Rachel's questions of worry for her future were only answered by silence.

"Don't worry about him. It's just me and you now," Rick replied. Rachel began to cry uncontrollably when she suddenly heard sirens in the distance. She began to smile with the hope that she might survive. Rick looked Rachel in the eyes, told her he loved her more than he could ever explain, and then shot his self in the head. Rachel screamed as Rick's blood and body fell onto her body.

A Collection of Old Poems

Intense

I want you
Not realizing you are taken
Time only encourages me
Every night I dream of you
Needing you to come to me
Sexually wanting you
Even when I’m with him

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Hopeless

We started off young
not knowing what we were doing.
I said goodbye
even though you were a great guy.
We tried it again
but it soon came to an end.
Trying to make a mends
we turn out being friends.
You found another,
but we wouldn't let go of each other.
So now we continue to talk
hoping to start it all over.
We both know
how far it will go.
We just keep up fronts
scared to let the other slip away.
Knowing well enough
that there isn't enough to make us stay.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

You put a smile upon my face,
with every word of grace.
When you speak those sweet words I love to hear,
they erase all of the doubt and fear.
Your words are what I look forward to each day,
Seeing as for now your so far away.
I wish you could be here,
to heal the pain, and remove the tear.
But for now I must make due,
til the day when I am able to kiss you.

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Shower

Water flowing from the shower covers my body entirely.
Droplets travel my body making their way to the drain.
The warmth of the water embraces me.
It soothes my soul and calms my nerves.
To never leave the shower...
to stay in this state of relaxation
to have all my thoughts escape me
to be free of the stress of the day
would be heavenly.

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Hearing your voice
Makes me completely stop
Seeing your face
Reassures me of my feelings
Speaking your name
Is like confessing my love
Just kissing your lips
Fulfills all my desires
Feeling your body against mine
Satisfies my every pleasure

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Wasted

Tears streaming

Dreams shattered

Hope lost

She now feels alone

Body is violated

Love is taken advantaged of

Home no longer feels the same

She no longer trust

Adolescents is gone

A need for love has vanished

Reasons to care have disappeared

She turns to drugs

Friends leave

Family gives up

Security stripped

She is left homeless

Money is needed

Stripping becomes an option

Prostitution has become the solution

She constructs a life of shame

Faith fades

Plans for success forgotten

Continuing life seems pointless

She considers death

Future destroyed

Form of desperation performed

Darkness consumes her mind

She no longer feels pain.

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Pressure

Do you even know what you do to me
Your smell when you brush past
The look in your eyes
and those sexy lips of yours.
I try so hard to contain myself
If you only knew the dirty thoughts that run through my mind
Just to feel your body against mine.
The mere thought of the things we could do
continues to drive me wild.

The more I see you
the more the pressure starts to build
Please just touch me
Relieve this pressure from inside me.
Tease me no more
Give me what I want and what I need
Cause all I need is for you to bring me joy,
True pleasure from all this pressure.

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An update on my life

So, it's been almost five months since I've last blogged and part of it is because I had nothing to talk about, and the other part is because I gave of the Internet outside of school and work for Lent. Although Lent is not quite over yet (I still have two more weeks), I really felt the need to write out a few emotions, and talk about a few events and new happenings.

In 2010, I have:

~ spent a week in Atlanta, GA where I helped build a learning garden for elementary children.

~ been to Mardi Gras

~ participated in Lent for the first time where I gave up the Internet and sexually explicit music. Still holding strong on the music.

~ made some interesting memories with a few guys.

~ been trying to change and become a new, possibly better person.

~ gone on an epic road trip of Texas where I visited five cities in four days.

I have had a pretty exciting year thus far and I only hope it continues to get better. My only worries at the moment are that I don't know what I want to do after graduation (Fall 2010!!!), I won't be able to do my internship from home, and that I won't be able to be with the guy I like. The last thing is the biggest worry in my mind at the moment simply because it is the only one I have no control over. If the other two don't work out, that's all my fault because I didn't do what I needed to to ensure their success. However, if I don't get with the guy, that's not all my fault. He has a part in whether or not we be together too, and that is what worries me. I'm worried about whether he wants to be with me or if I'm even what he wants. And although this is not more important as the others in regards to me being successful in life, it is a part of why people go through life, which is to find someone to be with so that they can one day fall in love and get married. Or at least that's my reason.