Dear Taurus Beauty,

Hi, there are somethings that we need to talk about. I heard some where that writing a letter to yourself could help to relieve some stress and anxiety. So, Marcia, I decided to take this time out to talk to you. To start, you are awesome and wonderful FYI. In all your greatness, there are some things we need to work on. I've learned that you don't like change. You need to learn that change is good. Everything must change, the weather, age, life, everything. So, don't be afraid of the changes that are happening around you. Things must change, and you have to learn how to accept them. But, know that you do not have to accept any change you do not agree with.

Then there is the issue of your confidence. You definitely need to work on that. You are working towards that by taking a step to control your acne. And, then you have already decided to take yoga in the spring to start on the road to getting fit. However, we still need to work on how you view yourself now, before all the improvements. Improving your outer image is good, but it means little if the way you feel about your self on the inside affects how others see you.
So, let's start boosting that self-esteem.

Finally, relax! Don't stress about the small things going on around. Everything will work out. You can try and help somethings along, but there is only so much you can do. And I know you are used to being just you and yourself, and are starting to get bored and tired of it, but continue to enjoy the time between you and yourself. I know you are tired of being alone, but I have heard people say that the time you have alone should be spent to adjust yourself and the things in your life.

In conclusion, love you boo! Try to adjust to the changes of the world, and live your life the way you want. Stop being afraid of life and get out there and enjoy it!!!

The one that loves you best,

TB

Let's get to know Taurus Beauty ...

I saw this and thought I would share some details about myself to whoever is reading!!

1. Have you ever made out with someone you weren't dating?
Unfortunately and fortunately...no

2. Is there a difference between the word 'best friend' and 'friend'?
Yea, a Bf is someone that knows every detail about you except for the ones no one knows, including the ones you try not to think about, and a friend is simply someone you hang out with and talk to when your Bf isn't there to talk to.

3. Have any of your guy friends ever admitted to liking you?
Of course...it happens.

4. Do you miss anyone?
Yes, the people closet to me that died in the past 6 years...:(

5. Can you recall the last time you sincerely liked someone?
Yes, and I wasted my chance with them...:( (I don't like these questions)

6. Who's the last person of the opposite sex that gave you a hug?
Um....I don't remember. Yea, sad I know.

7. Who is your celebrity crush?
Chris Breezy...sexy young'un

8. Can you touch your toes?
Yep!!

9. Do you know anybody who was abused?
Yes, I do.

11. Is silence really golden?
It depends on what you have on your mind mixed with what is going on in your life. Sometimes you don't want to be left alone with your thoughts.

13. Are you afraid to grow up?
No, because everyone has to rather you want to or not. All I have to do is stay young mentally.

15. Can you count past 100?
Of course, I may have grown up in the hood, but they did teach me how to count!

16. What's up with the numbering of this survey.
No clue, and I didn't make this up, so don't look at me like I can't count.

18. If you had to marry someone on your top friends list on Myspace, who would it be?
Unfortunately the main people on my top friends are family (that ain't happening even if we do live in Texas), female friends (that ain't legal, and me don't likey the ladies), and other friends that are just friends. But, if I had to pick one, it would be LDS.

19. Do you care what people think of you?
Only when I think they may be mad at me, other than that, your opinion is your opinion.

20. Would you call yourself smart?
I surely wouldn't call myself dumb, would I?

21. Do you like to read?
Love it! Unfortunately I can't do it as much as I used to due to all the school required reading.

22. Do you own a pair of Nikes?
Of course. Everyone has at least one pair.

23. Have you ever touched an elephant?
Nope, sure haven't

24. Plans for tomorrow?
Yea, always got stuff to do whether I want to do it or not.

25. Is anything wrong?
Is anything right?

26. Would you kiss anyone on your Myspace top friends list?
No.

27. Do you want to go to college?
I'm in college!!!!

28. What are you listening too?
The sound of a thunderstorm going on outside my window.

29. Do you have a good relationship with your parent(s)?
Yep! All three of them!

30. What did you do for your birthday?
Last birthday I had a dinner with my whole family that 2 hours to get started (angry feelings resurfacing)

31. What were you doing at midnight last night?
Trying to finish a paper that is one of 2 grades.

32. Name something you CANNOT wait for?
Marriage! And not for the wholesome reasons most people have.

33. What's your favorite season?
Spring...best time of the year!! My birthday mixed with great weather, what more can I ask for?

35. Last thing you ate/drank?
Ice Cream of course!

Was that as good for you as it was for me? He he, I always wanted to say that in a none sexual situation....

Hmm...do you really like me?

Ok, so lately I have been in the mood to find me a boyfriend, no I don't like that term. Maybe a mate, no. A man? Naw. How bout something cliche like that special one for right now. I'm not looking for my husband, but better yet some practice. I am 20 years old, and have never had an even semi-serious relationship. I want to change that. Unfortunately, the only guy that I could possibly change that with has too many issues including himself. So, I'm stuck with just me at the moment.

Poor me!!

Out with the old, please something new!

Today's blog is about change. Change is a word we have been hearing all year from both presidential candidates, but this blog is not about them. It's about me and the change I am ready for in my life.

I am only 20 years old and I am already bored of the college life. I am uninterested in drinking all the time or random hook-ups. I admit it would be fun to have a random hook-up, but I'm not out getting wasted so I can have that wonderfully embarrassing memory. I actually want to find someone that is about something. Someone that's not about the games, without the hidden agenda. I want to meet some completely upfront people.

What I am doing now is old. I have been doing the same thing for as long as I can remember. The only thing that has changed is the setting and the people. Middle school, high school, college; it has all been the same. Of course there are some good memories as there are with any era in one's life, but there is nothing in the past 5 years that I can think of that make me want to go back to that time.

My life has always been the same....dull! Where the hell is the excitement?

Frustration

Is it better to express anger or hold it in?

I have always tried to appear happy and not show people how I truly feel but it is beginning to wear me out. My head hurts all the time and I just don't have the effort to smile and be polite anymore. I want to make the people around me happy but it is hard to make them happy if they are not trying to make me happy.

I have been hanging out with the same people for a year now. We are in the same organization where we must work together and then we play together as well, but working together is not as great as playing together. I am starting to find that working with certain people is hard. I am beginning to not be able to tolerate them and the characteristics that they have always had. I'm sure they haven't change but maybe I have. Maybe I am getting older and less tolerate of being treated like I'm incompetent. Over my 20 years, I have learned that many, many people believe just because they are older, they automatically know more than you. A year or two over me does not make you wiser than me. Hell, 10 years doesn't make you wiser. It's the experiences in your life that make you wiser in your own way. Everyone doesn't mature the same way or at the same time but some people can't seem to realize this. You may know more about the woods, and I may know more about building things but that does not make you smarter than me or me smarter than you. That makes me experienced in one area and you in another. Do Not insult me or dismiss me, listen to me and consider what I have to say....it may be right and it may useful to you if not today, some day.

I am so glad I started this blog. I will try not to make it so much as a place where I just vent, but try to make it a place where I share all of me.

Everclear and the downfall it caused in my life

Ok, so it all started October 10, 2008. I went to a friend's party where he had trashcan punch and Jell-o shots which were made of Everclear. Everclear is the Devil! It is tasteless and when added to Kool-aid it is deceivingly good. I had 2 cups of trashcan punch and 2 Jell-o shots. When I realized that I was drunker than I had ever been in the matter of two hours, I switched to Smirnoff. Bad idea. The sugar with the Kool-aid mixed with the sugar from Smirnoff and Everclear of course didn't make my stomach happy at all.

I got to the party at 9, was drunk somewhere between 9:30 and 10, and was emptying my stomach into a trachcan by 1:30-2. Passed out at 2:30. The next day anything I ate or drank came up immediately and I couldn't keep anything down until 8 pm with the help of Gatorade. I was sure that my troubles from Everclear stopped that day but they didn't. On Sunday I began to lose my voice. It was back by Tuesday, but then I got a fever on Wednesday and couldn't curl up in bed because all of my classes were on that day. I was better by Friday but then I got an ear infection that same day. Yea, wow!

Un-Everclear related, but I will still blame it on it anyway, I had to drop my first class in my college career. It was insane since I always make A's and B's and only 1 C since I've been in college. That upset me seeing as I had 15 hours and am now down to 12. However, something else that was caused by Everclear was my trip to the Emergency Room. Due to my weakened immune system, the sudden fulcuations in the weather, and Homecoming Bonfire and game, my lungs inflamed and my inhaler would not work. I had to go to the Emergency Room for an major Astham Attack for the first time since I was 9.

And on top of all that, I have been having this weird attitude lately. I have been sharing way too much and have been way too rude to my friends. But honestly, I think Everclear was just the Devil's first step in slowly trying to discourage me and lead me astray but it will not work and I will survive.